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88 Ocean Drive
7 Sentosa Cove Singapore 4754569
+65 91234567
12th February 2011
Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore
8 Temasek Boulevard #14-00
Suntec Tower 3
Singapore 038988
Suntec Tower 3
Singapore 038988
Dear Sir/Madam
NETWORK ENGINEER
I am writing to express my interest in the above internship position as advertised on the NUS internship portal. As requested, I have enclosed my resume and application letter as well as a recent photo of myself.
I will be graduating from the National University of Singapore (NUS) in June 2013 with a degree in computer Engineering. NUS has imparted in me a strong technical experience and education which will be an asset to your organization.
During the course of my studies, I have acquired not only engineering knowledge but also useful skills in other areas by taking up modules like Principles of Economic and Professional Communication. These additional modules equipped me with effective communication and marketing skills which will allow me to excel when interacting with client and conducting seminars.
My previous job experience in Singtel during May 2010 enriched me with advance knowledge in network troubleshooting and provided me with technical expertise on networking wiring. My responsibilities included coordinating equipment installation of Mio-TV and the setting up and maintenance of internet connection. As every installation was task appointment based, it had trained me to work well under pressure and to be goal-orientated to meet deadlines.
My valuable experiences have taught me how to be a good team player and I would like to have the opportunity to be part of your company. I am contactable at 91234567 or j188@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
signature
Michael Jiang
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88 Ocean Drive
7 Sentosa Cove Singapore 4754569
+65 91234567
12th February 2011
Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore
Temasek Boulevard #14-00
Suntec Tower 3
Singapore 038988
Suntec Tower 3
Singapore 038988
Dear Sir/Madam
NETWORK ENGINEER
I'm writing to express my interest in the above internship as advertised on NUS internship portal. I am looking for a creative and challenging position and would like the opportunity to learn more about the position your company is offering.
As requested, I am enclosing my resume, application letter as well as a recent photo of myself.
During the course of my studies, I have acquired not only engineering knowledge but also useful skills in other areas by taking up modules like Principles of Economic and Professional Communication. Being equipped with effective communication skills, I am sure I would be able to excel in client interaction and conducting seminars.
During my employment at Singtel in May 2010, I have gained valuable experience in the field of troubleshooting internet. My responsibilities included coordinating equipment installation of Mio- TV and executing maintenance activities for internet. While working with team members to perform in-depth troubleshooting of equipment problems, I have learnt to be a team player to increase work efficiency.
Most importantly, my experience has taught me how to build strong relationships with people I work
with.I am contactable at 91234567 or j88@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
signature
Michael Jiang
Hey man,
ReplyDeleteA few minor grammatical errors here and there! Hope you will find them out soon.
Cheers
Thanks Mark.
ReplyDeleteI will correct them.
Hey michael!
ReplyDeleteI think your application sounds good! Just the first paragraph where I don't think its necessary for you to write where you got to know of this internship position. Maybe can replace that with some background information of the company you want to apply to and why you want/deserve that position?
All in all I think its short and sweet and quite well-written! =)
Thanks Jac.
ReplyDeleteI will consider and rephrase them.
Hi Michael,
ReplyDeleteIn general, I feel that the paragraphs written were pretty relevant! But I feel that your sentence structures like some punctuations.
Some very minor changes which I would suggest (but of course you don’t have to follow):
NUS has imparted in me a strong technical experience and education which will be an asset to your organization. >> NUS has imparted in me a strong technical experience and education, which I feel will be an asset to your organization.
During the course of my studies, I have acquired not only engineering knowledge but also useful skills in other areas by taking up modules like Principles of Economic and Professional Communication. >> During the course of my studies, I have acquired not only engineering knowledge, but also useful skills in other areas by taking up modules like Principles of Economic and Professional Communication.
These additional modules equipped me with effective communication and marketing skills which will allow me to excel when interacting with client and conducting seminars. >> These additional modules have equipped me with effective communication and marketing skills, which will allow me to excel when interacting with client and conducting seminars.
Hi mabel,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the helpful suggestions. I will make the relevant changes.
Here are some improvements you can make.
ReplyDeleteYour mobile and email address on the top left are unnecessary since it is found in the resume. The date should be separated from the address of the employer. It would be advisable to get the name of the employer you are writing to. You should change the title to “Application for Network Engineer Internship”.
The first sentence of the first paragraph on how you got to know of the internship is not necessary and is actually irrelevant in an application letter. Moreover, the second sentence in the first paragraph is not appropriate as it shows that you are unaware of the positions offered by the company. You could possibly write on why you are interested in this position and organization in particular.
For the sentence “During the course of my studies, I have acquired not only engineering knowledge but also useful skills in other areas by taking up modules like Principles of Economic and Professional Communication.” You could possibly write more about how you think your engineering skills would prove useful for the job. Shorten the sentence and try to draw links between your qualifications and the internship requirements. How does “Principles of Economics” help you in this job?
You could also shift “I am contactable at 91234567 or j88@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you” to a new paragraph. Contact information is not required as it is already stated in your resume. Maybe you could add the following sentence “I will contact you in the next couple of weeks to discuss a convenient time to meet.”
You should also include experiences from other areas that will build up your case. Overall, your application letter engages my attention to read on and to read the resume.
Cheers!
Hey Michael! I think you can change the font for computer Engineering to Computer Enginnering? It looks better this way. :) I think you can try to mention qualities being an efficient worker at Singtel and how you going to make use of this quality in serving this company well. Also, you can try to elaborate more on how you are a good team player (from your last paragraph). E.g: succesfully solving a crucial case together with your collegues at work. Plus, you should include you possessing problem-solving skills. I think this job requires people to solve problems very quickly, especially when the network coverage is down. I hope this can help you in your resume. :)
ReplyDelete